For a while now I have been posting about how wisdom impacts our lives. Also, I have been writing about how walking in wisdom brings blessings and how foolishness is a stumbling block.
Yet this time I want to dig into how wisdom needs to impact how we view relationships especially relationships with the opposite sex. Now I just want to be clear I am coming at this as a single woman so bare with me.
So let's dig in and find some truth about relationships.
"A man without self-control is like a city broken and left without walls."(Proverbs 25:28ESV).
Thus a fool holds no boundaries and speaks loosely. So the point is to be careful who you date or build friendships with.
Do not put yourself in a compromising position. Instead, position yourself to know and believe the truth.
Here's the deal to all you fellow single women who are unsure of what kind of spouse you are seeking and hopefully trusting God for. Do not go out with someone who does not hold the same values as you.
And especially do not put yourself in a compromising position with a person of the opposite sex that does not hold the same values as you either.
Because they will push the boundaries and try to take advantage of you. Now, that can be said of someone who holds the same values as you but is willing to live without self-control.
From personal experience, I went out on a date several years ago when I was twenty-three with a man who did not hold the same values and standards as me and it was terrible because he did try to seduce me and get me to put myself in a compromising position so he could have another conquest.
But finally, he got the picture my no meant no. That was the last real date I have been on with a guy in public alone for many years. But it taught me you get to see more of a person one on one than compared to a group dating experience.
This brings me to my next point you cannot really get to know a person on a group date. The person of the opposite sex acts differently in a group date compared to a date one on one with someone.
The point is if you are dating someone and really want to know who they are. Then you need to know how they act with friends and other people but you also need to know how they will treat you when it is just the two of you will tell a lot about someone.
I have learned group dates are not for me and are completely awkward.
However, not putting yourself in a compromising position also goes along with never put yourself in a compromising position with someone else's spouse. Never be alone with someone else's spouse.
The reason I dig this point home is all throughout proverbs we learn about adultery is easy to fall into. Well actually the entire Bible says to flee from adultery and we need to keep ourselves pure.
Plus I have made it a standard to never be alone with someone else's spouse/husband to not only protect myself but my friend's marriages.
Do not mislead others and do not mislead yourself into foolishness.
Marriage is a beautiful thing and something is so scarce. It is something I am waiting and trusting God for. Marriage is not something to take lightly and it is something that must remain pure before God, and glorify Him.
Marriage is also about finding that person God has set apart for us who can not only see the best in us but also be bluntly honest with us in a loving way. It is about being able to find a spouse we can love at their best and their worst. Besides forgiving them even when we do not feel like it, but because we love them unconditionally.
Marriage is about finding a best friend to share your life with and who you can faithfully serve God with. Marriage and desiring to find a spouse is not wrong, but a good thing.
"Wrath is cruel, anger is overwhelming, but who can stand before jealousy? Better is open rebuke than hidden love. Faithful are the wounds of a friend, profuse are the kisses of an enemy."(Proverbs 27:4-6ESV).
We must not be hasty with our words and we must hold fast to God's wisdom not only in how we speak but how we carry ourselves with integrity in relationships. Communication is key in relationships especially in dating relationships and seeking a spouse.
Most of all before entering into a dating relationship or a potential spouse we must be honest with God and ourselves. If we cannot be honest with God then we are going to have a hard time being honest with not only ourselves but with others.
We must be honest with ourselves and God in what kind of person we are looking for and waiting on God for.
For example, now that I am getting closer to being thirty. Okay only months away from turning thirty. I have a clearer understanding of what kind of spouse I am waiting on God for.
Someone who is; a Christian and is very close to God. A man who is humble, kind, gentle, and who honors his mother by treating her with respect. A man who adores his mother is one who will treat his future wife with strength and dignity.
Also for a man who is willing to fight for the woman he loves, and who is not afraid to show affection. Most of all who doesn't care what other people think. Meaning a man who cares more about what God thinks than what people's opinions are.
Most of all a man after God's own heart who seeks God and searches out the treasures of God's truth. A man who walks in the wisdom and understanding of God and who diligently seeks to position himself to receive the truth of God. Not the assumptions, or gossip, or the jumping of conclusions of other people.
A man who does not walk in foolishness, but a man who walks in righteousness. Who flees from pride and anger. A man who does not doubt the spoken word of God, but lets it prove true.
"Every word of God proves true, he is a shield to those who take refuge in him. Do not add to his words, lest he rebuke you and you be found a liar."(Proverbs 30:5-6ESV).
See relationships are tricky and they are imperfect because we as human beings are imperfect, but are made perfect in Jesus.
However, God is perfect and he does not fail. So His words do not fail or come back empty-handed. People fail us and we fail other people because we are human and fall short. Thus, is why we must make room for forgiveness in relationships and within marriages.
Yet, even though people fail, God's words do not fail. His word cannot diminish or lose authority because it is living and active. If God spoke it, then it will manifest. His spoken word is revealed in it's appointed time.
God's word and truth cannot lose its value or worth. It is absolute and withstands all things.
Moreover, a woman of purity should carry herself with dignity and strength. She should also fear the Lord and let the light of God illuminate the steps before to make wise choices.
"Strength and dignity are her clothing and she laughs at the time to come."(Proverbs 31:25ESV).
"Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised."(Proverbs 31:30ESV).
These are some things I have learned about the wisdom of God and how it relates to relationships.
References
English Standard Version Study Bible (2008) Crossway Publishing, Wheaton ILL,
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